JRRZZ Blog

Okay, as I’ve ranted before, I want to go ahead and ignore everybody’s advise and get myself a two wheeled life shortening device next year. I didn’t know it could be this captivating. It’s okay to covet things, but this is getting ridiculous. Granted, it’s potentially the most expensive toy I’ll ever buy, but that doesn’t make it that important. I can’t get my mind off of these machines. Even new Sun hardware hardly excites me anymore. How did it ever come this far?

It all started with several friends and family members owning motorcycles. The standard guy reaction became a fact. “I want one of those.” But when I was sixteen years old, it didn’t even occur to me to get a moped or something. I was buying computers instead. Even when I turned eighteen, I didn’t get the urge to get a driver’s license. Somehow this youth dream of owning a motorcycle of my own got buried under years of dusty geekery.

All of that changed when I saw, about a year ago, the motorcycle a friend’s neighbor bought himself. It was a Moto Guzzi Griso, probably the 850. It still is, without a doubt, the most beautiful motorcycle ever built by man. This thing removed all the electronics and computers from my want-to-have list in one clean sweep, and restored “motorcycle” to the #1 position on this list, where it belongs.

For a very long time, I couldn’t be bothered with any other bike than the Griso. Especially because the beefed-up version, the Griso 1200 8V I wrote about earlier, has received nothing but good reviews. In my mind, there was no bike that could beat the Griso. A few weeks ago, I came to the conclusion I’ve been crossing every border I’ve come to respect during my years as a skeptic. I haven’t talked with a single opponent, just with people who already share my positive disposition towards the Griso. I didn’t even properly analyze my requirements for a motorcycle.

So, I decided to start from scratch. Forget the Griso for the moment, even if it’s hard. I knew I was going to use the machine for commuting back and forth between home and work. I’m also thinking of exploring Europe instead of flying across half the globe next holiday. So it has to be able to carry me (and my camera equipment) to far away places and back. I want to cut costs where ever I can during these economic questionable times, so it shouldn’t guzzle fuel like a Harley. Roads in the far east and north of Europe aren’t that great, so my new toy should have the ability to handle that. The final real challenge are my legs. They’re pretty long for motorcycle standards. If I’m going to ride the motorcycle for days on end, I need to sit comfortably. Of course things like looks, performance, durability, availability, accessories and price are pretty important as well.

People, whom I trust to be knowledgeable in the field of motorcycles, explained I’m looking for an adventure-touring type of motorcycle. It’s basically a touring machine, standard riding position, lots of power, luggage capacity and tank range. The thing making it an adventure-touring machine is it’s ability to be controllable on bad roads like gravel or dirt. This type of motorcycles has become immensely popular, so availability won’t be that much of a problem. Remember the Long Way Round with Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman? Those were adventure-touring machines. Now everybody thinks they need off road capability in the suburbs. Including me, it seems.

So there are a few bikes to choose from. Let’s just start with Ewan and Charley’s choice. The BMW R1200GS Adventure. Every man, woman, child and dog in Europe seems to have one. It’s the best selling bike ever. It’s not selling by it’s looks. Oh my, it’s ugly. When you’ve got a R1200GS in your mirrors it’s like looking at a retarded man child, questioning the validity of your license plate. It isn’t that great off road either, mostly because of it’s weight. It can manage, but that’s about it. It’s a lot happier on the tarmac. Yes, it does have a great engine, gearbox and transmission and comes with all the bells and whistles you could think of, but it’s still ugly. Besides, I don’t want anything everybody already has. I don’t want the motorcycle equivalent of an iPod, for Satan’s sake. There are also a myriad of technical problems reported about this bike. Since everything is built by BMW, who like to electronically manage everything, lots of electronics ended up in this bike. It’s great when it works, but it adds so much more potential breakdowns I’m not looking forward to fixing at the side of the road in Bosnia. So to sum things up, I simply don’t want to be seen with this monstrosity.

Surprisingly, the big contender comes from Moto Guzzi. The Stelvio NTX. It’s not that bad looking for an adventure bike. I actually like it. There’s so much nice stuff to choose from to bolt onto the bike, like panniers and crash bars. It’s being marketed as the big R1200GS contender, so Guzzi has to compensate for all of the accessories made by BMW. This includes ABS, which is really handy with a bike this big. Just like the BMW, the Stelvio isn’t light and nimble. But on the other hand, I don’t expect it to be. It comes equipped with roughly the Griso’s engine, delivering enough power to be able to cruise around comfortably. That’s also it’s biggest weakness. The Guzzi V-twin lacks torque in the mid range, which is okay for a sports bike like the Griso, but pretty annoying on difficult terrain. It’s not that fuel efficient either, with 1151cc of displacement and rudimentary motor management this thing is a bit thirsty. Combine this engine with an extremely heavy clutch leaver, road-going suspension and tires and you’ll end up with an awful off road experience. I’m sure some people manage to get this thing across a dirt road, but I wouldn’t want to try. But on the other hand, as long as there’s some tarmac left, this motorcycle will stand it’s own. The nicest aspect of this bike must be the logo by the way. It’s a Guzzi. That must count for something, right?

The third contender is the KTM 990 Adventure. I had almost made up my mind and chose the Stelvio, until I did some research about this machine. What a bike. It’s built by KTM, renowned for the quality and durability of it’s creations. You can take this thing across any terrain, and it’ll keep going. Not that I’m really looking for an all-roader, but this thing shouldn’t give me problems with the worst tracks Europe’s back country can throw at me. Sure, it’s a bit of overkill to take a landrover when my neighbor’s ford will do just fine. But that hasn’t stopped anyone from doing so anyway. Apart from being durable, it has enough oompf to impress those furry big eared rodents along the freeway just enough to not kill themselves. It has a tried and tested V-twin, a smooth 6-speed and a friendly clutch. After this power plant accelerates you beyond the limits of what’s considered safe, you’ll be looking for brakes of some sort. Just like the GS (if you pay even more) and NTX, the 990 has ABS, helping a hand in your efforts stopping this orange thing. Especially because I’m a bit of a novice, ABS does come in handy during the first few months. This bike is fairly complete on it’s own. There are many things you can add to this bike to make it even more useful. It’s pretty much the entire collection of accessories you’d expect in the adventure touring market, with a few neat extras. It’s all colored in KTM’s distinctive orange, of course. There’s even a KTM tent for you and your bike, for those people wo’d rather sleep with a KTM than another toy. Fuel efficiency is okay, with a range of roughly 330km on it’s 19.5L tank. It’s not as good as the theoretical figures of the GS, but it seems not a single tester has been able to completely drain the fuel supply on that German oil tanker. The 990 surely looks better than the GS, but doesn’t cut it when compared to the Stelvio. Granted, it’s radical design is KTM’s trademark. It just breathes durability and functionality. One thing that immediately struck gold in my eyes is it’s size. It’s a huge bike, both in length and height. I’m sure I’ll have no trouble at all touring around on this motorcycle. Now I fully understand why Charley Boorman wanted this thing so badly instead of the German competition. There’s one little problem though, and that’s it’s price. I’m sure it’s fully justified by the quality, so it’ll be cheaper down the lane. Still, an initial investment of 15.251 euros for just the standard bike is a bit steep.

There’s one other competitor though, which just might meet my expectations. The Buell XB12X. It definitely looks (and sounds) better than both the GS and 990, but it’s more road oriented as well. It’s not as expensive either, at 13.795 euros. In design, it’s the GS done right. The big American V-twin underneath does the job, and quite well at that. Even though it’s not that advanced as the competition. It’s a four valve air cooled engine, with a helper fan on the front. Personally, I don’t like the sound of my Sun Ultra 27 coming from my motorcycle. Luckily it only runs for a few minutes after you’ve parked the thing. Of course, being an adventure tourer, some cases and toys can be bolted on. Fuel efficiency is okay, actually quite impressive for such a big V-twin, at the almost same level as the KTM 990. The XB12X can handle gravel, but it’s completely rubbish on anything worse than that. At least it doesn’t really look like it can manage, like the Guzzi. I like this bike, although it would limit my possibilities a bit. It’s obviously a lesser option than the KTM, but it’s a real alternative when I’m short in cash in 2010.

To summarize this, I’m looking for the BMW R1200GS without it’s hideous looks. I think I’m going for the KTM 990 Adventure, unless it’s unaffordable for me next year. The Buell XB12X would make a nice cheaper alternative.

Edit: I just found out Buell is no more, so I guess I’ve just got make sure I can afford the KTM. And no, the V-Strom is no alternative.